Last week I put out a poll asking readers what types of content they would like to see more of in the future, and the results were interesting but only partially shocking.
I knew that confidence was something that many creative people struggle with, but I didn't think it would be the most requested on this list. However, I know that a lack of confidence is part of the reason for 2nd and 3rd topics because people often want a tangible solution to their problems but may not recognize that confidence may be at the core of why they struggle with those things too.
Also, I hypothesize that content creation being the least requested topic, comes from the same place for many because they might be insecure about what to share with others.
Am I Superman?
One of the comments I get most from people is how much they appreciate how I show up in different places, always authentic, and share real talk from my perspective. I get compliments about how well I perform on camera and how much they appreciate my written words.
I don't share this to brag because I often suffer from confidence issues, usually right before I hit the publish button.
I've cracked the code of creative confidence, and though I may be my worst critic, I have no qualms about putting something out; the thought of doing so makes other people cringe.
I’ve learned over time, through countless failures, that fear may look scary, but it’s actually weak, and anytime I’ve pushed back against fear, it falls away. However, it’s also relentless, returning to haunt me often, but the results are always the same.
4-letter Word That Starts With F
Want to know one of my biggest insecurities? It's when I write these posts and ask people to comment, and I get nothing from them. I know that part of the reason people don't comment is that they don't want to put themselves on display for others to judge, but when I don't get any comments on a blog post or video, I start to think about what I did wrong.
Did I say something that upset people?
Did I need to bring more value?
How can I engage the audience better?
The absence of external validation, such as positive feedback or sales, can contribute to our self-doubt and diminishes our confidence, primarily in two ways.
Imposter Syndrome and Perfectionism
We feel like frauds in our field, usually because of comparison with others, based on their experience, education, and accolades. We may even fear others calling us out on our fraud.
This manifests in further shrinking from recognition or accepting praise, diminishing ourselves with self-deprecating responses.
I mentioned above being my worst critic, and I'm sure others feel the same. We establish a performance standard based on what we see others doing, which pushes us further away because of the unrealistic expectations of viewers on social media.
We may tell ourselves that we're not trying for perfection, but our minds are constantly messing with us, reminding us about the level of expertise we want to achieve and how we might never get there. That is a painful truth, not because we're bad at work but because we keep pushing the standard further away.
Through it all, the fear of not meeting our expectations and creating flawless art can hinder our confidence in sharing it with others meaningfully.
We Shall Overcome
It's not all doom and gloom. Though we may be stuck in these frail skin suits, we can build up our tolerance, starting by calling out our bullshit…conscientiously.
Recognize Insecurities
The first step in overcoming our insecurities is to recognize and acknowledge them; this is a time for brutal honesty. Otherwise, we cannot make progress. Take a moment to identify the specific areas or situations where self-doubt arises.
Is it when you share your work with others or receive feedback? Perhaps it's triggered by comparing yourself to other artists. By pinpointing these moments, you can understand your insecurities' root causes.
Understanding the Underlying Reasons
Comparison and fear of judgment play a significant role in our lack of confidence. It's natural to want validation and recognition for your creative work, but these desires can sometimes lead to self-doubt.
I have my insecurities around these topics, but instead of letting them control my behavior, I take a compassionate and honest look at the factors contributing to my self-doubts, acknowledging their presence without judgment (this is the crucial part).
Challenge Irrational Beliefs
Contrary to what you may believe, none of these self-defeating beliefs are beneficial and shouldn't be considered normal, and it's time to push back on them.
Start by examining the evidence for and against your insecurities. Ask yourself, "What evidence supports these insecurities, and what evidence contradicts them?"
Being diligent and honest with yourself gives you perspective and challenges the validity of your self-doubts.
Reframe Your Insecurities
Once you challenge irrational beliefs through evidence examination, you can reframe those beliefs.
Recognize that your self-doubts are not absolute truths but perceptions influenced by fear and self-criticism. Develop a more balanced and realistic view of your creative abilities and potential.
You've done many great things in the past. It's ok to remind yourself of those accomplishments and the positive feedback you've received.
Did you get rejected by an art gallery's open call, or did they permit you to find a better opportunity elsewhere? Excuse the pun, but it's all in how you frame it.
Be Your Own Superhero
Building confidence requires action, and it takes time. We must actively engage in practices that counteract our insecurities if we want improvement.
Surround yourself with a supportive community of fellow creatives who understand and appreciate your artistic journey.
CAVEAT: Find people that are as interested in growth as you. If that community is filled with others wrestling with their insecurities, the solidarity you find may hold you back.
If you're looking for constructive feedback, seek it out from trusted individuals who will offer valuable insights, not sugarcoat anything, and lend insight on how to move forward.
Embrace opportunities to showcase your work in person or online, even in small, low-pressure settings. I participate in a local open studio event in my city each year. I get to show my work to my friends and neighbors in the comfort of my own home. It's a fantastic way to get perspective on my work, find out what people like, and how I might improve in the future.
Overcoming insecurities is a journey that requires self-reflection, compassion, and proactive steps. By recognizing and acknowledging our insecurities, understanding their underlying causes, and challenging irrational beliefs, we can reframe them, developing a balanced and realistic view of our creative potential.
Building confidence takes time and effort, and we shouldn't expect miracles immediately. Just like artistic output, building creative confidence is a journey to embrace, and like the art, the more you practice, the easier it gets.
Totally relate to all of this. I usually say to myself, What's the worst that could happen? And then, What's the best thing that could happen? Then I'm usually ready to share because fear keeps you small, yet safe. It's all about making that comfort zone larger.
Sometimes I just have to think and ask the question, " Why am I creating my art?"